See Lucinde, Part I.

It may seem presumptuous to include love advice in a discussion on jnanis, since we associate them with asceticism and celibacy. However, while it started somewhat “tongue-in-cheek”, there is a valid purpose. If non-duality is true, then every area and aspect of life is non-dual. We cannot see the ascetic as the norm — it’s odd that only now are we concerned about the termination of human life on earth, whether through war or environmental destruction, when in actuality, it has always been the human prerogative to end the world simply by refusing to reproduce!

It is a sign of the times to believe we have evolved to the point of accepting practices which have traditionally been considered deviant, on the grounds that they are “natural”. However, this assumes a profound misunderstanding of man, who is anything but natural, both in a positive and a negative sense. Positively, man is more than his nature; with his source in Atman, he creates himself and cannot be reduced to biology, instinct, and impulse. To the modern mind, freedom means release from every constraint to say “yes” to every whim. However, the task of self-creation will often require a “no” instead. It will serve no point to be more specific; as in everything, prudence and wisdom will be suitable guides. Keep in mind, though, the Hermetic principle: “As above, so below”. The manifest world arises from the polarity of the male and female principles (Purusha and Prakriti). The most creative relationships will exhibit that polarity in the phenomenal realm.

Negatively, man does not understand his true nature. As we pointed out, his perceptions, actions, and thoughts are delusory, so man, in this unregenerate state, cannot even know his true nature, so what he considers “natural” is, from a metaphysical perspective, more likely to be the manifestation of unnatural tamasic forces. Keep in mind that the studied “naturalness” of a Zen practitioner, or the “naturalness” of a dancer or artist, are actually the result of deep and dedicated practice.

In the past, we have quoted from Friedrich Schlegel‘s novel Lucinde without giving the background. Schlegel was a founder of the Romantic movement in XIXth century German art and was an innovator in bringing the Vedic teachings to Europe. The common “wisdom” among the intelligentsia at that time, was that a man needed three types of women to be fulfilled: a wife, a mistress, and an âme-soeur (soul sister). The first two are self-explanatory. But the âme-soeur is a Platonic relationship; she is able to discuss the deep things of life (e.g., art, philosophy, spirituality, etc.).

Schlegel and his wife, Dorothy, turned that common wisdom on its head by incorporating all three aspects into a single relationship. The progress and results of that experiment were documented in his novel.

While the “mate” (or wife) can be seen as the public face of the relationship, the Mistress is the private face. (This is why any hint of promiscuity, adultery, exhibitionism betrays the relationship.) The public/private distinction corresponds to the exoteric/esoteric distinction in religions. So, exoterically, since sexual relations between mates is open to biological life, by correspondence, esoterically, the Mistress relationship is also open to the creation of a new life, though, in this case, it is the spiritual birth of a new being, wherein they each find their own wholeness in the other. So for Schlegel, the âme-soeur relation is not opposed to a “conventional” relationship, but is instead its fulfillment.

This extended passage from Lucinde is illustrative:

Yes: I would have thought it a fairy tale that there could be such happiness and such love as I feel now — and such a woman, at once the most delicate lover, the most wonderful companion, and the most perfect friend. For in friendship particularly I sought for all that I lacked and didn’t expect to find in any woman. In you I’ve found everything and even more than I could have hoped for; but, then, you’re not like the others. You’re untouched by the faults that custom and caprice call female. Aside from your little idiosyncrasies, the femininity of your soul consists simply in your making life and love synonymous. You feel completely and infinitely; you know of no separations; your being is one and indivisible. That is why you are so serious and so joyful. That is why you take everything so solemnly and so negligently, and also why you love me completely and don’t relinquish any part of me to the state, to posterity, or to my friends.

Everything belongs to you, and we are in every respect closest to each other and understand each other best. You’re at my side at every stage of human experience, from the most passionate sensuality to the most spiritual spirituality; and only in you have I seen true pride and true womanly modesty.The most extreme sorrows, if they merely enveloped us and didn’t separate us, would seem to me nothing more than a refreshing contrast to the sublime frivolity of our marriage. Why shouldn’t we interpret the bitterest whim of chance as a lovely witticism and an exuberant caprice, since we, like love, are immortal? I can no longer say my love or your love: both are identical and perfectly united, as much love on one side as on the other, This is marriage, the timeless union and conjunction of our spirits, not simply for what we call this world or the world beyond death, but for the one, true, indivisible, nameless, unending world, for our whole eternal life and being.